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A View From Level IV*
Thomas F. Fischer, M.Div., M.S.A.
Number 247
I. Problem to solve: GoalCollaborate mutually beneficial solution
II. Disagreement: GoalProblem solving (more public arena)
III. Contest: GoalTo win
IV. Fight/Flight: GoalHurt the opposition
V. Intractable Situations: GoalAnnihilate the opposition
What Happens At Level IV
6) Appreciation Of The Tenacity Of The Church. One of my favorite sayings is "You can't kill a church." Though over-simplistic, this saying does make a point. Churches are strong. Their social fabric is rugged. They can go through decades and centuries of conflict, rough-riding, severe schism, doctrinal controversy, a variety of pastors and leaders...and still endure.
Churches are tough. That's how God intended them to be. Trust this special God-given characteristic of the church. Leaders who, in spite of Level IV conflict, are able to muster up enough tenacity to function--even on the most minimal level--resource and reinforce that tenacity. Such tenacity is solidly based on Jesus' promise, "I shall build my Church and the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it."
Churches are divinely strong. Leaders and churches undergoing Level IV conflict have a first-hand experience of beholding the realization of Christ's promise right before their very eyes.
- a) Mega-Church Pastors. A favorite, but not always accurate, saying of mine is "Little churches, little conflict. Big churches, big conflict." Large church pastors, pastors who have grown a church from 0-1000, and pastors of fast-growing congregations, are generally skilled and gifted conflict managers. They have a "conflict management intelligence" as part of their leadership gifts which gives them a helpful supportive perspective.
- Get that perspective. Don't be too proud. Call them up. Ask for their quality time. Sit at their feet and learn. They will most likely be willing to help. After all, they have paid the price too, perhaps many, many times.
- Of course, don't forget the pastors out in "Nazareth" too. Great things come from the unknown, obscure, forgotten and neglected corners of the Kingdom. In fact, it is from those "Nazareths" that the greatest things can arise to give special strength.
- b) Conflict Consultants. There are many of them out there. The difficulty is finding the one right for you. In addition, there may also be a consultation fee. Don't let that scare you. As the saying goes, "Advice is worth what you pay for it!"
- c) Community And Organizational Leaders: Have you ever chatted with a CEO? A University Chancellor? The Head Of The University Business or Law School? The Director of a Social Service agency? The President of very large religious or secular organization? A Lawyer, Judge, or Politician?
- Some of the trauma individuals experience in Level IV is the result of not having repeated, regular, daily experience of conflict. Though a blessing, it can also be a curse. Leaders of organizations experience the same thing as pastors and other leaders do in the church. Rub shoulders with them. Experience how God can bless and support His ministry in you through what Luther called the "Kingdom of the Left Hand" (i.e. the secular vocations).
- Don't be shy. Just pick up the phone and give them a call. It doesn't matter if they know you or not. If they are respected in the community, it is probably because they give respect and support. They'll probably give it to you, too.
- d) Funeral Directors (!): Because of their frequent association with a wide variety of pastors and church families, they are a surprising possibly excellent source. They know everything about everybody everywhere, including pastors. They know many of them personally. They know the good, the bad, the inside and out. They hear it all. They can be very helpful and professional. They also are familiar with dealing with grieving, troubled individuals. Just be sure that they are confidential, too! You don't' really want to add more to the funeral home rumor mill, do you?
- e) Cyber-support: As Internet resources grow and electronic mail becomes more commonplace, pastors will find a growing network of support in this medium. Resources such as Ministry Health, the Ministry Health And Leadership WebRing, or others sites which deal with various aspects of leadership, organizational dynamics, conflict, codependencies, health and wellness, psychological well-being and Christian spirituality will undoubtedly become more numerous.
- Email gives unique access to individuals and professionals like no other medium. Many noted doctors, consultants, and other ministry professionals are available by email. Of course, striking up an old seminary friendship via email can be an excellent source of sharing and support in difficult times.
Level IV conflict stalls ministry momentum. It tends to kill vision, too. Keep the vision alive. Keep fanning the flames of what the church is about. Bring in denominational specialists on outreach, vision and ministry directions. Attend and invite others to attend leadership seminars and other discipleship and leadership events.
Keeping the vision is essential because, after the flames of conflict burn out, the vision planting and preservation you have done with leaders during the conflict will emerge as the cutting edge of unprecedented congregational renewal.
People in stress study the Bible. Those who had never been in Bible study before may feel a strong need for pastoral and Scriptural support during the trials of Level IV conflict. So will you. It's a positive reaction to self-preserving fusion. The study of Scripture in small home groups can be an excellent time to support each other. In some congregations, Level IV conflict may provide just the opportunity to get those home groups up and running.
Publicize these meetings. Don't let these sessions be secret. Don't let them be "gossip centers" either. Antagonists will deride them as the pastor's "CIA" clusters. Publicize the home studies at every public opportunity possible. Don't give anyone an objective reason or substantiation for their accusations.
Personally invite the antagonist(s) to attend. If they refuse (which in most cases they will), you haven't lost anything. If they accept, you've gained an opportunity to have them be influenced by the Word. Let the Word work. Whether in Level IV conflict or not, it's all you have. Use it!
Whether formal or informal, reading can be wonderful therapy. While educating the reader, reading also gives a welcome diversion. The pain of rejection of Level IV conflict can help individuals discovery the joy of just taking a book, studying it, and learning or getting enjoyment from it. As one writer said, "Books are my best friend."
The continuing education experience can vary from taking up a new hobby at the community center or formally registering for university courses...or both.
In a Level IV environment where everything is out-of-control, leaders may feel lost, alienated, alone and worthless. Hobbies and other activities can help alleviate that feeling. In addition to reading (cf. above), many find that the arts are any excellent way to cope with the feelings of the loss of control at Level IV. Music, painting, acting, crafts, woodworking, writing, poetry, photography, collecting are just some of the possibilities.
An unusual phenomenon is that people often find their most relaxing and enjoyable activity is something that they enjoyed in adolescence or in their early adult years but never really developed. If you have difficulty deciding what you might like, that's an excellent place to start.
Trauma causes people to withdraw. It takes up energy. Don't let it. Eat healthily. Get out for walks, but only for as long as you can without brooding. Excessive brooding can reinforce potentially deadly depression. Call members up for lunch (but remember, salads only! Your energy levels may not be able to metabolize multiple lunches!)
One of the most difficult things about Level IV conflict is that it often breaks the proverbial "straw" on one's back. This "breaking" leads to a sense of profound brokenness marked by an extreme sense of aloneness. Understanding the emotional and spiritual transition that may be occurring can help provide a blueprint for renewal and strength. (Cf. Ministry Health's "Keys To Making Life's Necessary Transitions" available for purchase).
The end will come in God's time. Of course, that is never soon enough. As each of the dynamics characterizing Level IV conflict subsides, a new era of ministry will begin. Most churches go through chapters every 2-3 years. Level IV conflict begins a whole new book. If God enables you to stay, do so. The rainbow of God's promises of renewal following Level IV conflict is one of the most brilliant you will ever see. Stay the course and anticipate renewal!
* This article is based on my reflections of severe Level IV conflict. Those interested in further insights on Level IV conflict are invited to contact me at Director@ministryhealth
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This page was revised on: Tuesday, October 05, 2004 11:02:41 PM |